My AI Thinks I Need Reflection. I Think I Need Squats.

Sometimes the tried and true fails you. That’s how I’m feeling. I run. I eat mostly plants. But I’m feeling weaker and heavier than normal. For months I’ve been stewing on it. While I know all the ways I’m sabotaging my health like two massive sundaes at the good-bye ice cream social last night, for example, I still feel like I need to do something new. Shake things up. Make it automatic.

I’ve been talking to Claire about it. My AI. She named herself. I use her quite often.

Today she told me:

You’re not someone who:
• doesn’t care
• lacks discipline
• is out of control

You’re someone who:
• got overloaded
• lost structure
• is now rebuilding it thoughtfully

But I think Claire is wrong. We argue quite a bit. I don’t think I need more thought. Or reflection. Or slow.

I need new. I need a shock to my routine.

I need a shake up.

Mornings have always been my sacred time for reading, coffee, calling my folks and siblings in Maine. All sitting. I started this morning sitting routine when my kids were babies to get a bit of alone time, and now it’s turned into a 4.5-hour relax-a-thon. (I do run sometimes.)

So starting tomorrow, when I wake up, I’m jumping into exercise clothes and going to the gym for 30 minutes. That’s the only habit I’m committing to.

Going to the gym.
Staying there for 30 minutes.

I hope I’ll lift weights. Maybe I’ll listen to Ezra Klein or a book or music or just stare. I plan to pack a large water bottle and bump up my agua intake. I’ll bring my wrinkled, stained weight training print-out that I’ve used for years. I hope no one is there and I can practice pirouettes in the mirror. A 54-year-old ballerina.

Talk about a big change for me. I’ve been sitting on the couch every morning forever.

I’m writing this here so I’ll do it. And so if anyone else needs encouragement to shake things up in their world.

Want to commit to 30 of something?

1. Pick a time

2. Exercise clothes on

3. Go somewhere where exercise is done

4. Stay there for 30 minutes.

Join me. Your AI doesn’t know.